Connecting With Your Kids When They’re Upset by Janet Lansbury

When children are showing us their their ‘big emotions’ it can be overwhelming for both them and us, as their parents or caregivers. It is important to remember that these emotions can overpower a child’s logic, and sometimes children just need someone to support their feelings and to be present for them rather than to fix their emotions. Our response and acknowledgement of their emotions is very important. Janet Landsbury discusses this in one of her Unruffled podcasts. Read more below:

“Yes, in a general sense, a child who is whining, acting out, et cetera, is in a place of disconnection, and they do need us to connect with them, but what does that look like, and then what does that look like when we have another child or multiple children there as well, and they seem to need our attention? How do we connect with all of these children at once, and how does connection actually look with each child?

…the way to connect with children is not necessarily to give them what they seem to want on the surface or in the moment. That is not what it means to connect with an upset child.

When children are upset and behaving erratically or even just whining, they’re not in the logical part of their brain. They’re in the emotional centers of their brain, just in their emotion. The things that they ask for or demand or want in those states aren’t logical either. Oftentimes, it’s just a part of expressing that feeling, that they want to tell us to do this or that or that they need this or another one of those. When it’s out of those feelings, what connection is about is really just holding space and supporting those feelings to be expressed. It’s not to try to offer a solution to make the feeling stop. Connecting is seeing what’s really going on with our children, which isn’t always easy because we get touched off by their behavior and the emotions that they’re expressing. We get easily overwhelmed.”  (Excerpt from Janet Lansbury’s Podcast ‘Unruffled’)

Connecting with Your Kids When They’re Upset (Works with Siblings Too)


Halloween Safety

The National Safety Council shares this article on their website about Halloween Safety:

“Halloween Safety On and Off the Road

Kids love the magic of Halloween: Trick-or-treating, classroom parties and trips to a neighborhood haunted house. But for moms and dads, often there is a fine line between Halloween fun and safety concerns, especially when it comes to road and pedestrian safety.

In 2017, 7,450 pedestrians died in traffic or non-traffic incidents, according to Injury Facts. Non-traffic incidents include those occurring on driveways, in parking lots or on private property.

NSC research reveals almost 18% of these deaths occurred at road crossings or intersections. Lack of visibility because of low lighting at night also plays a factor in these deaths.

Here’s a scary statistic: Children are more than twice as likely to be hit by a car and killed on Halloween than on any other day of the year. In 2017, October ranked No. 2 in motor vehicle deathsby month, with 3,700. July is No. 1, with 3,830 deaths.

Costume Safety

To help ensure adults and children have a safe holiday, the American Academy of Pediatrics has compiled a list of Halloween safety tips. Before Halloween arrives, be sure to choose a costume that won’t cause safety hazards.

  • All costumes, wigs and accessories should be fire-resistant
  • Avoid masks, which can obstruct vision
  • If children are allowed out after dark, fasten reflective tape to their costumes and bags, or give them glow sticks
  • When buying Halloween makeup, make sure it is nontoxic and always test it in a small area first
  • Remove all makeup before children go to bed to prevent skin and eye irritation.

When They’re on the Prowl

  • A responsible adult should accompany young children on the neighborhood rounds
  • If your older children are going alone, plan and review a route acceptable to you
  • Agree on a specific time children should return home
  • Teach your children never to enter a stranger’s home or car
  • Instruct children to travel only in familiar, well-lit areas and stick with their friends
  • Tell your children not to eat any treats until they return home
  • Children and adults are reminded to put electronic devices down, keep heads up and walk, don’t run, across the street